Day One Hundered and Forty Four.

Elizabeth Annabella Joy.  I gave birth to you standing up. Quite by accident of course, but nevertheless, there we were. I faced the bed, our midwives behind me, catching you. When you had been fully born there was a moment while I waited for them to pass you up to me. The anticipation was more than I can express. I knew I would never be the same.
Now, I was the Mother of a daughter.

I was overwhelmed at the sight of you. So pink and chubby and perfect. You were all cheeks with a coating of blond hair.

You were so absolutely beautiful. 

The world around us was so unpredictable, so out of my control, so stressful and exhausting. We had just moved into a new house, your Daddy was about to leave for Cancer treatment in the very same hospital in only a few hours. But that moment. When I first held you. Time stopped. Everything was right. Everything was as it should be. There was an immense peace that you brought with you.

We arrived home a few hours later and I held you for the rest of the night. My first impression of you, even as you slept,  is that you are...a lot. A lot of character, determination, spunk and energy. You are very feisty and you are very sweet. As you have grown all of this has proven to be true.

As a One year old you are walking and talking. You bow your legs to find a sturdy balance and you are almost as quick as your brothers. You chatter "hi, hi, hi" and grin at everyone who looks your way. And you know what you want my sweet girl. Just get out of your way! You get that from me... and my Mother used to say "or pity help you if you don't!" This would hold true for you as well. You can arch your back in protest in way that makes us wonder if you don't have some extra vertebrae. You are easily excitable and you are very very happy. Whatever anyone is doing you are happy to join along. You are very healthy and you are an easy going little toddler (as long as no one tries to stop you!). You are fiercely independent. You want to hold you own bottle, walk yourself, feed yourself and sit by yourself and you want to be carried only to see something...not because you are a baby.  On the sporadic occasion that you do want a cuddle you will march yourself over and pat a lap, demanding with your bossy little grin; "up! up!". And then you will snuggle in for about 7 seconds, give me a couple of pats and wiggle away again. You have these deep blue eyes that are stunning. Sometimes I have to look twice because in the right light they are too blue to be real. Your little curls are growing, and when you are hot they spiral and frame your face.

You love your brothers. They have adored you and doted on you since the moment they laid eyes on you. You light up and grab onto them every morning as though the thought of spending another day with them is something to be celebrated each morning. I hope you always are close with them. They are special boys and the love they have for you is not one to be taken for granted.

And then there is your Dad. To say you are Daddy's little girl is not quite accurate...to be more precise you are Daddy's like princess. You are the most beautiful, sweetest and perfect little girl there ever was in his eyes. You get your way each and every time.

When you were about 7 months old and still waking a few times in the night, I decided that it was time for you to learn to go back to sleep on your own sometimes. We let you fuss for a short while and I would eventually go back to sleep. Soon, you didn't wake up until morning. I was smug in my confidence that I was right in my timing and method...until I got up to use the bathroom and heard humming and the squeak of your rocking chair. There you were, smiling up at your Daddy...he got up each and every time with you...but didn't tell me in case I blamed him for sabotaging my sleeping goals for you. Of course I did not. He continued to get up with you for weeks afterwards, and I know that those early morning hours spent together are memories he will treasure of you.
Oh you love your Daddy. 
When you hear the garage door opening at the end of the day you wiggle and squirm and desperately yell "Da-da! Da!" You literally throw yourself in his arms, he knows to put down whatever he is carrying as soon as he comes in the house because he will need both hands to catch you. He is teaching you how you can expect to be treated by men in your life. I hope you stay in those arms as long as you can, until you meet someone who can rival your Father.

 One of my favorite things is the sound of your laugh.
It  comes right from the bottom of your belly. Tickling you is the easy way to get you going and chasing you will get an even better reaction. Sometimes we will hear you giggling at something; a giggle that is uniquely  feminine and we are reminded how blessed we are to have this extra special dose of pink in our lives.

I want to freeze these moments for just a little longer, just as you are right now, on the cusp of  babyhood and toddler hood; not quite one, but not quite yet the other.

I am so excited to see your personality grow this year.  I absolutely adore everything about you. I am so proud of you.

 I am  privileged and honored to be your Mother. You are everything I dreamed of.  I love you completely and unconditionally.

You are our Joy. 

Happy Birthday my darling girl.

Mommy xoxo