Jenny Can't Cook

While I try to document the majority of life's pleasantries on this blog..there are times when I feel a blog confession would be a soul cleanse of sorts...or at least an open forum for whining.

I can't cook.

Ben usually cries at the dinner table. Then eats toast.
Jon pounds the table between bites while grimacing/smiling.
Jacob double fists whatever is on his plate directly into his mouth, forgoing all tasting.

Jenny? She usually drinks a smoothie around 9pm while she stares at this strange room in the house. One that never really clicked. While she wonders what went wrong again tonight?

The room is like a giant jig saw puzzle to tackle each night. Each ingredient a piece of the larger puzzle. Even with the end picture I am never quite sure how THOSE are suppose to turn into THAT.

When Jon and I were a newlywed duel earning couple the first one home made the grilled cheese, picked up the pizza or soaked the french toast. We weren't too concerned with what was on the table as long as it was fast and up to par with our equal skill level in the kitchen.

When Ben was diagnosed with his allergies things got more complicated but he didn't seem to mind eating a separate simple meal while Jonny and I kept to our old standbye's...calling a box of kraft dinner with ground beef a complete meal.

Unfortunately/fortunately in learning more about Ben's allergies and how to help him get healthy I learned a lot about nutrition. And then I learned more and more and more. Until I knew too much. And knew way better then to serve processed white enriched pasta with yellow chemicals and factory farmed hormone laden meat to my family. I couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it....so about 2 years ago ketchup stopped being a vegetable serving in our house I learned how to make salad dressing and I loaded up my cupboards with organic, non GMO, gluten free, and discovered local food. I had better pieces to a bigger puzzle but I continue to struggle (and by struggle I mean am failing miserably) to put those pieces together.

I have started to think about meals at our house as 1- the most stressful occurrence of the day. 2- Times I try to shove as much nutrients down my children's throats so they will not be hungry again for maybe a couple more hours and are reletivly void of pleasure and 3- something I continue to do at least 3 times a day while wishing I could hook my family up to IV's at night and be done with it.

In the last month I have made such culinary mistakes as burnt most things that go into our oven because I chronically forget to set the timer. I have burnt meat on the outside while it remained pink on the inside (the fate of tonights turkey burgers) had cold sides and warm entree because I can't seem to get everything to finish at the same time. I forget to thaw what I planned, It tastes like chalk (salt anyone?) it is mushy...I am afraid of undercooked meat and tend to overcook everything as a result. Have sworn of cooking forever 5 out of 7 days a week.

In my humble defense in addition to my lack of inclination and talent I am cooking around texture issues, picky eaters and cannot cook with any dairy, nuts, eggs, and very limited gluten (yes...the IV thing is seeming like a less extreme option now isn't it!)

I have broken dishes in frustration, kept Dominoes in business (after the boys and their cereal for dinner are in bed...) in business and have not had anyone over for dinner since....um I don't even know when, we just don't have dinner guests because unfortunately we would have to subject people we love to...dinner.

No more.

I am going to learn to cook. Really I am. I don't know where to even start really. Jon and I were trying to come up with SOMETHING edible that I make that would be requested again. NOTHING...we were both near hysterical laughter as we realized there was none. My poor, poor Jon! He grew up in the home of Martha Stewart's protege. My mother in law can simply walk into a kitchen and her stand mixer will gleam. I imagine the ingredients dancing out of her cupboards like the toys on the floor of the Mary Poppins playroom. They all go together just right...and everyone always takes seconds. Then he married me. But he loves me for trying...I will keep giving him that.

I fight back tears as I peruse blogs like this

One day...one day.

I am not sure what is missing...a large part of me has stopped trying, but I am going to give it another go. A really good, go.

A Whale of a Tale

On Jon's first week of summer holidays Ben really wanted to go fishing (it was fish without a license week...) We bought a rod, and Jon knew of a good spot behind his old office. It didn't take long at all for the rod to start bobbing up and down with a bite (I think that is fishing lingo?!). Ben was estatic to find the little sunfish dancing around on the end of his hook. He wanted to keep it for a pet of course but we persuaded him to have a good look at him and throw him back in.

As in true fishing form that tiny fish, in subsequently told stories has indeed (by both parties involved) become "THIIIIIIIIIIIIS big!"

Strawberry Jam

I have never canned anything before. I didn't understand why one would go to all the trouble of picking and pickling when the grocery store sells canned food for almost less then what I would buy an empty glass bottle for.

Until we did.

NOW I understand! There was s tremendous amount of accomplishment when we went to the strawberry field and picked ice cream buckets full of strawberries to take home (well what we could manage to keep out of Jakey's mouth...) to wash and keep on cookie sheets ready for jam making. My helper and I waited until piggly wiggly himself went to bed and the jam marathon began. We squashed and mixed and boiled and bottled and then we rejoiced in hearing the successful pop of all the lids but one...which we happily dove into to taste. Our honey, blueberry and strawberry jam turned out wonderfully and I think we may just have caught the canning bug!

THIS Boy

Is outgoing, cuddly, friendly and sweet. He has a developing temper and a heartbreaking cry when his feeling are hurt. He loves books, dogs, shoes and his family. He loves to eat...anything! Especially pasta, blueberries, steamed vegetables, pizza, oatmeal and avocado (he recently ate 2 in one sitting!). He is not a fan of raspberries or turnip. He is starting to talk more, but has understood for a long time what is said to him. He loves to have "jobs" to do (close the garage door, carry the keys to the mailbox, turn off the light switch, turn on the dishwasher). He loves the swings at the park, and visiting with other children. He loves babies. He has the best laugh. He enjoys dumping water out of the bath and walks in his stroller where he waves to everyone. He is fascinated with birds. He is a good problem solver and holds his own with his brother...he has a pretty decent tackle when a toy is snatched from him. His brother can make him laugh harder than anyone. He has the bluest eyes and blond curls that his mom regrets cutting. He can run too fast and is absolutely fearless, there is nothing that he won't try. He sleeps 16 hours a day. He is always happy and ready with a grin. He is our joy.

THIS Boy

...is curious, energetic, loving, sweet, stubborn, bright, funny and creative. He builds amazing things with his blocks, loves to go to new places but likes to observe before jumping in. He builds forts to sleep in beside his bed, has mastered the carseat straps and can secure himself safely in the car. He loves his brother, his guitar and singing. He makes up stories and songs and never leaves the playground without making a new friend. He loves to help Mommy in the kitchen. He pretends he is a magician, pirate and paramedic. In that order. His interests remain unique; trumpets, dunk tanks, street sweepers. He is empathetic, bossy and loud. He is a delight.

A Family Shot

It occurred to me as I was reading through old blogs that there are only a handful of photo's of the mom on here. I had a friend snap a quick photo of us going into church last week so I can add some more proof that I am an everyday part of the goings on around here! Ya...I like the bangs too:)

Two Good Boys

"Are we two good boys Mommy?"

Always.