She's Three!

Elizabeth! You are three! And what a three year old you are.

You are such a unique girl. Older than your years in so many ways and so very... three in others. It is hard to imagine that such a big person can fit in such a little package but there you are. In your pink and purple, sparkle and twirl.

You get up each morning knowing exactly what you want to wear and what you plan to do. You love to give orders and have a "job" to do. Helping me cook and bake are you favorite things to as well as help change and feed Matthew. Recently you discovered that you are very good at folding dish cloths into perfect squares and will declare after every feat that you master "Ya Ella!" and slide dramatically forward one on foot with two thumbs up. You are very theatrical in most everything. You are loud and bright with gigantic blue eyes and smile that lights up your face.

 We adore you, so so much. Your brothers think you are just the best, and let you boss them around past the point I think is reasonable but they tend to let you go further. They give up their seats for you, let you go first, give you the last...whatever...help you, play with you and read to you. If they need a reminder you will yell at them "be gentle with your baby sister!!!".
You are lucky to have such love in your siblings. And in turn, you love your "guys" and mother them all. It is a sweet dynamic and one I know will mature as you all grow older but that I hope doesn't change too much.

You are, absolutely adorable. Wherever we go people always stop to notice you. It is hard to miss you, with those wild white curls and ready chatter for whomever will look your way. You are naturally bold and confident and sometimes cross the line. "MOVE IT!" you shouted to a dad at the playground with his young son in your little girl sassy voice that gets you to time out more often then not. "ELIZABETH"! I yelled... you quickly corrected yourself "I mean excuth me please" in your little falsetto...and then proceeded to shove him out of your path. Barely waist high, you don't seem to show much intimidation or caution when you have something (or someone) in your way. I am usually behind you, calling out apologies, met with startled and forgiving laughter from those not used to ...you.

When you are this cute, you get away with a lot...often too much. But really you are sweet and eager to please and desperate to be helpful and be treated like a big girl. When we are somewhere new, or you are outside of your comfort zone you can be very unsure until you have it all figured out. You will hang back with your head low, close to Mommy and fingers in your mouth. Wanting me to hold you but also not letting yourself quite allow it. The first time we went to the beach this year you were unsure of the sand...it took you 20 minutes of watching exactly what everyone else was doing before you took one careful step onto gritty ground. And then ten more to commit to the experience. Sure enough, given the time and patience to do it on your terms you were the most enthusiastic child at the beach. Pushed however...you will not attempt any further but refuse anything more to do with the situation you are unsure of. We have learned to let you go on your own, or you won't go at all.

I love seeing more of you unfold as you grow. I am so proud of you, I am so grateful for you and as your name suggests, you bring an immense amount of Joy to our family.

Happy Birthday our beautiful Ella.

I love you more than you could ever know. Mommy xoxo

A Growing Baby

It has been so much fun falling in love with this little guy. He is so sweet! Matthew loves to be held and has started cooing and smiling at anyone he can make eye contact with. He is wearing 6 month clothes at 6 weeks old so it is no surprise that he enjoys eating! Bathtime is a hit, always with an audience and enthusiastic helpers! Jacob tells us daily "Mattie is EXACTLY the baby we wanted!!" We would all agree:)

Matthew Thomas

Dear Matthew,

You are here! It is remarkable how I tried to imagine you so often over the last ten months and wondered who you would look like, what colour hair you would have, how big you would be...only to hold you for the first time and just...know you. Somehow I knew you would have those gorgeous cheeks, those fat pouty, kissable lips, those wispy strands of fine hair, your long fingers and perfect toes, knee wrinkles and button nose. There you are. Like I have always known you, like you you have always been here. I can't imagine a time when you weren't here. I wouldn't want to.

What a beautiful gift you are to our family. Your sweet little spirit is quiet and undemanding. You eat and quietly sleep, with little smiles every now and then that light  up your face and gives us a glimpse of the little boy bursting to come out. I love the weight of you on my chest and your little hiccups and sighs. You are patient and tolerant...until you aren't and then you show off your powerful little voice but you are easily calmed and love to be wrapped tightly against a warm body.

You have a big fan club already. Your brothers and sister think you are awfully special and love to hold you and kiss you. They are so compassionate and patient, doting and sweet with you. You are a lucky boy to be born into such love.

I am treasuring every minute of my days with a squishy little newborn baby. It is an exquisitely unique time where we just fall deeper in love . My heart lights up when you look at me, I can feel it stretching and growing just a little more to fit in...four. And you fit my beautiful boy, just perfectly.

Welcome to our family. We are so glad to have you!

Love Mommy.
xoxo

May Countdown

Dear baby,

You are due to arrive  in 14 days. You have two brothers and a sister who will tell you...every ten minutes if you care to be reminded. This is one excited family!

It still doesn't seem real somedays. We didn't think we would be so fortunate to have another baby in our family. When your dad was going through Chemotherapy almost three years ago we were told again and again that a significant side effect to the treatment would be that we would not have any more children. We have two little boys and a brand new daughter. We accepted that we were already very blessed and we needed him to be healthy again, whatever the cost. We had to accept the good and the bad.

And yet.

Someone was missing. You lingered in the back of our minds...I would accidently buy four of things I should be buying three of. Four Christmas stockings, four Easter baskets, I would take four children's plates out of the cupboard for lunch.... four just felt...right. I had dreams of a faceless baby with such familiarity that I knew it must be mine. I would wake with aching arms, missing someone. But I pushed these things out of my head. Your dad had also expressed regret that we would never again have a baby in our family as Ella became more and more independent and the dynamics of our family started to change. But I didn't want him to feel badly for something that he couldn't control. We were happy with the family we had...even if there was someone lingering...

One night Jacob asked me how babies come to families. I told him that God decides when people get babies. He asked if we could ask God for a baby.
I said we could, but God might be finished giving babies to our family, since we had already received three great ones.
He was insistent.
Your brother Jacob said the sweetest little prayer. This little four year old boy asked God if he could send us a baby. I was teary at the end, for the sweetness of it, for Jacobs nurturing and sensitive spirit, for fear of the disappointment he might face when I would tell him eventually that there would be no more babies and for the glimmer of hope that I couldn't quite help but feel.

Could I just allow myself a moment of memories? Of sentimental wistfulness? To think of the big moments when life is so clear and the purpose and meaning is laid in a swaddled bundle for the first time. The sinking weight of a new baby who lays all their trust on you, their innocence and possibility felt in the nine pounds on your chest. The full realization of love in its deepest form. The sweet smell of newness and a tiny clenched fist around your finger.... would we ever again be so lucky?

We could hope... Jacob and I.. Just for a moment.

God listens to four year olds. He hears sweet little prayers whispered before bed and is mindful of the hopeful, moist eyes of their mothers.

And God has bigger plans. Because even when Doctors said you wouldn't be...He said, you would.

Two weeks later, I was pregnant.

We could barely believe it, your dad and I. We were in shock for a good few months. I was reminded of the realities repeatedly over the toilet bowl but otherwise we would resort to a steady state of shock and gratefulness.

Seeing you on the ultrasound for the first time as a whole little person was an extra special Christmas present. We were so excited to learn we would be expecting another son to welcome in spring. We chose this time to tell your brothers and sister. To say they are excited is such an understed description of their anticipation

. Every day they talk about you, every day they rub and kiss my stomach. They talk to you and devour books about babies. Each day they ask if today will be the day!

Well now we are weeks away and our family is feeling complete as your presence is so much apart of our daily life. Your name means, of course... Gift of God.
And we believe you are.

We cannot wait to meet you!

Love Mommy

xoxo

Funny Girl

"MOMMY! (hiccup) WHAT IS HAPPENING TO (hiccup) ME?! IT IS IN (hiccup) MY THROAT!!!"

"Ella, you have hiccups, it will stop soon."

"I AM (hiccup) OKAY?!"

"Yes"

"OH! (hiccup) okay." 

2.5

Ella is growing up so fast...I don't want to forget exactly how she is right now! She is spunky, eager to please and help with EVERYTHING, she is so independent and chatty and a real leader (bossy...?). She has a great sense of humor and loves to dance. She loves the movie Frozen and got a book for Christmas with all the song lyrics which her Daddy knows all of and I can hear them singing every night when he puts her to bed.
Ella likes things the way she likes them...one of the things she is particular about is a cinnamon raisin bagel and cream cheese every morning for breakfast with orange juice. We often have extra bagels in the freezer but there have been times where we have run out accidentally. She is DEVASTATED (regardless of the fact that many mornings she doesn't eat a bit of it anyhow! If she doesn't have one...the whole day is lost!- I don't think she likes the bagels as much as she likes that they come in a purple bag...) I bought mini bagels on sale last week for her to try and when she saw them her reaction was better than Christmas.

"Oh Mommy! Thank you! You bought me purple bagels! Thank you- Thank you!!!" and at closer look...it got even better...
"MOMMY!!! You bought me CUTE bagels!!! THANK YOU!" and she hugged them. She hugged her cute bagels. Now this is a carb loving girl after my own heart.
She makes me smile everyday!

Ella can also be a bit of a control freak...she likes to know everything that is going on and generally be in charge of it, despite her frustration that she is only 2. One thing that continues to escape her is...her bum. She can't see it. Which is very upsetting to her. She will do random "bum checks" throughout the day...suddenly, desperatly demanding... "My bum! Mommy...do you see my bum?! Is my bum still there!?" and I pinch that cute little bum, trying not to laugh every time at how serious an issue this really is for her and reassure her again that yes...her bum is right where she left it.

Ella has a large vocabulary and likes to talk...a lot...to you or me or strangers or a stuffed animal or to herself or no one at all. Her mouth moves...a lot. She will grin and point at someone and declare "you are a stinker!!" and laugh. And then they generally laugh and tickle her and tell her SHE is the stinker. One night she was doing with this Jon. "You are a stinker!" And then she smiled her mischievous smile and whispered "I really mean...stupid". Which she is not allowed to say....so this whole time...she found a loop hole. Hmmm...watch out for this one!

 Not surprisingly Elizabeth is also very particular about what she wears.  I bought her some new clothes on the weekend, to realize that her style and my style...do not mix. She tossed each item, after some consideration, into a heap on the floor... "noooo, nooooo, nooooo, nooooo.....oh NO mommy!(yellow shirt...noted...no yellow.) ....noooooo...nooooo, hmmm YES". Well one out of 8 isn't too bad I guess? I also got her new sandals for the spring and a spring coat that passed the test thankfully but I think she will shopping with me from now on.

She is such a little cupcake. I am so glad she is ours!

Happy Birthday Jacob!

Dear Jacob,

You are five! You have been counting down your birthday for 9 weeks! You have planned every detail, including grilled cheese sandwiches, french fries ( and NO carrots) for dinner with chocolate cupcakes with ju jubes on top for dessert with the "good" ice cream (vanilla) and blue balloons.

Your goals this year are to ride a two wheeler bike, keep learning to read, get your front teeth back and play soccer again. I am sure you will go all this and more!

You have started junior kindergarten this year and you love to work along side Ben each afternoon with your school work. You were so proud to learn all your letters and their sounds and start reading "early reader" books. When you noticed Ben's math one day however you were curious. "I want to do what Ben is doing!" you said. I looked at his second grade addition and subtraction problems and explained that when you are 7 you will be able to do that kind of math too...but right now you are working on learning your numbers. "If I learn my numbers, can I do math like Benny?" I didn't see why not...and I had also not seen you so determined! Within a few weeks you were counting to 100 and could identify any number in between...so I tentatively taught you about addition... 1+3=....3+2=....simple questions, that you pretty much rolled your eyes at. Now you are adding and subtracting a page a day and are so proud when I call you "my little math whiz!". You love to learn new things and are particularly interested in dinosaurs, space and animals right now which is what a lot of our school time is spend learning these days. You are keeping a journal to practice your printing "just like Ben" which you are also very proud of.

I love to see your skills and talents developing, and your confidence when you discover how capable you are. I know it is hard to have an older brother sometimes who can already do "everything". But you are so smart with so many wonderful qualities. I am proud of you when you are proud of you!

You are so so sweet. You love babies and animals and anything that could need some nurturing. You are quick to help someone who is hurt or come to the rescue if someone needs help. You are a doting brother to Ella and are so excited to have a new baby brother. You said you wanted to use your birthday money to buy your baby brother a high chair (you have been very concerned that we don't have a high chair!).

Your interests right now include lego, reptiles, spiders, video games and the movie frozen. You love to be outside but hate to be cold so this time of year is tough for you...and your endless energy! Some days you are litrally climbing the walls! I think we are all looking forward to spring time! You change into a different animal hourly...so far we have "claw" the cat, "toothless" the dragon, "spot" the dog, "hangnail" the lizard with new additions frequently.

There are so many things to love about you Jake. I love that you still like to cuddle with me (when Ella lets you!) and are always so aware of how everyone is doing around you. You look forward all week to our "Jake and Mommy night" when Daddy takes Ben to piano lessons and you stay up late with me. You hold the people you love very close to you and are very loyal...as for other people...you don't give them much thought. You are not one to care about what others think of you and are happy in your own company. I love when I hold your hand I can usually be surprised with a plastic lizard or spider in your grip.

I have no doubt that your fifth year will be exciting and you will learn and grow a lot. We are so proud of you and love seeing glimpses of  the young man you are growing up to be.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy!
I love every moment of being your mother and every inch of you!

Love, Mommy xoxox


For Jacobs birthday we took our little foody on a mommy/daddy date to a buffet restaurant where he basically ate french fries, cotton candy, ice cream sundaes, cupcakes, chocolate dipped marshmallows on a stick and watermelon for lunch. He was in heaven. Then we went to a pet store to see the reptiles that he also loves and he was able to hold one! He declared it the "best day ever!" which is all we could hope for;)

We had family and friends over for a "Frozen" Pizza party on the weekend and Gramma made him an extra special Olaf cake! He loved it all! And we love all of him!