We were out buying winter boots last week when a first happened. Ben, who usually doesn't care what I put on him to wear (such a good little dolly...) had an opinion. He turned his nose up and raised his voice at the sensible blue and gray pair that matched exactly his winter coat. The quick and easy trip got a little hiccup at the sight of the pink, purple and shimmery Dora the Explorer boots. These would not do for a few reasons.
1- His coat is blue and gray.
2- The boots are pink and purple.
3-They have Dora on them.
4- I don't buy clothes (or boots) with cartoon characters on them. I just don't.
5-I kind of despise her.
6- I stopped taking the kids to the gym childcare because all they do is watch her, I despise her that badly!
7-As a result he has only ever seen the show half a dozen times, he doesn't love her thaaaaat much.
8- they didn't have his size anyway.
9- They were pink, he is a boy. (Whoa, did I just think that?!) ....and that is exactly what I told him. Ben, these are pink, don't you want these nice blue ones? you like blue (and he does...just like he likes red and brown and green and any of the other appropriate gender selected colours unconsciously supported...he also likes pink).
"No, I like pink. JUST pink".
Mmm. Now I am not the kind of parent who thinks that preschool colour choices influence in the least future gender confusion, sexual orientation or degree of masculinity. I do think it would be a great big fat old headache to deal with the amount of comments I/we would receive over the next 14 weeks. Because some people really do think that there is something wrong with a little boy in pink and purple shimmery Dora the explorer boots. I would like to think I am not one of them....but the lone color fact did pop into my head. How deeply ingrained it is. Pink is for girls and blue is for boys. The end.
And it was; the scene ended as impulsively as it started when Ben got over Dora and realized that the ride on dump truck he had just spotted was his new love. I ushered him over to the masculine, rugged black toy and quietly slipped his blue boots into the cart.
Then I went home and questioned my reaction.
I suppose it is something so unconsciously driven and rather insignificant that I wouldn't bother thinking too deeply about it unless forced to, eye to eye with a shimmery pink Dora for instance. I am not one to care too much about what others think especially when motivated by ignorance . I am also not one to sign my children up unnecessarily for social exclusion or ridicule. Granted an easier winter would be had by all if he just wore blue so I held firm in my choice this time. I have a lot I feel passionately about and will debate, to my detriment until I pass out cold from lack of oxygen, but this?...not one of them. I did however, have to admit my ignorance. Why does everyone seem to agree that pink is for girls and blue is for boys.
After reading a little about the history of it here It seems this was not always the case! In fact, it used to be reversed. Blue was seen as a soft, pretty color, associated with the Mother Mary and used commonly for little girls before the last century. Pink was seen as a watered down version of the masculine and strong red, preferred in all its variations for a boy.
So what caused the change? During the second world war the Nazi's used a pink triangle to label homosexuals. It has, thereafter been associated with femininity and homosexuality. Well. That changed things for me. Recognizing that my acceptance of gender color assignment had Nazi origins that we still support made me want to go out and get those pink boots after all!
Isn't it interesting to get to the root of collective ideas, no matter how seemingly frivolous? I was pleasantly surprised at how my attitude changed with a little enlightenment. My boys can wear whatever color they desire in the future, I will explain when asked why truly it doesn't matter, and in the meantime...call them vintage.
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